Get Clear on Your Big Rocks

I remember in elementary school science class the teacher put a few rocks into a jar until the rocks were piled to the rim of the jar and then asked the class if it was full.  We all thought it was. But then he added some pebbles in the jar and they filled in around the big rocks right up to the top of the jar. And he asked us again if it was full. Then he added sand and, after that, water, until the jar was actually overflowing. 

In order to be the leader others want to follow, it’s important that you get clear on what your big rocks are. The biggest priorities in your life, your most important goals, the top one or two projects that are going to be most impactful for you at any given period in your career. And get those in your jar before other people fill up your jar with pebbles, sand, or water.

Once you’re clear on your big rocks, ask yourself what steps you need to take to get them.

What’s the necessary first step? What help, advice, or resources might you need to get started and to stay on track? What obstacles might get in your way? Learn to say no to the things that aren’t consistent with your big rocks or that will take time and energy away from your ability to focus on your big rocks.

Write out your big rocks and your answers to the questions I posed. Remember that writing it down will activate different parts of your brain and different chemicals in your brain that can lead to creating new brain circuits. New ideas. And a shift in your motivation and energy.   

The most successful and inspiring leaders are essentialists. They are crystal clear on their Big Rocks and don’t let themselves get distracted or diverted from the actions that they need to take to achieve their vision.

 “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How This Connects to the Five Intelligences™

Getting clear on your Big Rocks is a direct expression of Execution-Intelligence. When you prioritize the goals and projects that matter most, you’re being strategic in focusing your time and energy on what will have the greatest impact. You create clarity for yourself and for others, protecting your attention from being consumed by pebbles, sand, and water. It becomes much easier for you and your team to say yes to what matters and no to distractions. And just like with any priority-setting practice, the ripple extends into all five intelligences:

• Self-Intelligence: When you clarify your Big Rocks, you align your goals with your values and strengths. You gain confidence that you’re spending energy on what matters most to you. Those around you experience a leader who is grounded and authentic, which builds trust and inspires commitment.

• Relational-Intelligence: When you know your Big Rocks, you can better communicate your priorities and invite others to share theirs. This fosters collaboration, reduces conflict over competing demands, and creates a culture where people respect each other’s priorities and boundaries.

• Communication-Intelligence: When you articulate your Big Rocks clearly, you give others a roadmap for how decisions are made and why certain initiatives matter most. They experience transparency and clarity, which strengthens alignment, reduces ambiguity, and enables more effective teamwork.

• Neuro-Intelligence: When you focus on your Big Rocks, you reduce overwhelm and decision fatigue. You activate the parts of the brain that support motivation and follow-through. Others feel your steady presence and focus—it creates psychological safety and reduces the stress of shifting priorities.

Together, the Five Intelligences™ ensure that your Big Rocks aren’t just personal priorities. They become anchors for collective clarity, resilience, and purpose—helping you and your team stay focused on what matters most.